Skip to main content

LOVE LESSONS

May, you came like lightning.

It was the most miserable awakening ever, since about maybe seven years ago. I didn't remember feeling this miserable. It's like my weight was all place in my heart. No solution. Helpless. The only thing a human can do is cry and then pray. That is all a human can do.

I don't know how much I can take but if God gives, that is the amount of misery and sorrow I can take. I am thankful that my loved ones are well protected and guarded. My friends are all okay, well, at least they are well physically to continue in this tough journey of life.

As I reflect, I know I'm a person without much love to give. I don't know how to love and care. Let's not even start about talking how to serve the community or finding the calling of your life or fulfilling your dreams or believing in some visions. Just love the people around you, that's already hard enough. Love the unlovable annoying friends that you have.

And I have learnt valuable lesson this week, and I hope I will always love people as if I have no chance to love them again. That is tough. But I hope.

All my life, I've been wishy washy and not sure of my wants. I can't stick to anything, and the worst, I can't stick to anybody. But now I know. I learn now that happiness can be in those little moments. Little moments that don't have to mean a lot of things. Conversation sometimes don't have to be full of 'matters of the world' or 'philosophy' but just ..... those little moments when you crack stupid jokes and laugh.

I wish to turn back time and to change circumstances. I wish that a lot.

I'm sad. I'm glad to say I'm sad instead of I'm depressed. And I know why I'm sad.

There's too many mistakes to mend.

Moments, Time, Words .... I don't want to miss these ever again, I hope.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

COLOR PERCEPTION

When I was young, I spent a lot of my time before sleep wondering, "Is the color I'm seeing as 'Red' is the color you are seeing as 'Red'? " The meaning of Color According to Wikipedia, Color is the visual perceptual property corresponding in humans to the categories called red, blue, yellow, green and others.  Color derives from the spectrum of light (distribution of light power versus wavelength) interacting in the eye with the spectral sensitivities of the light receptors. Color categories and physical specifications of color are also associated with objects, materials, light sources. Because perception of color stems from the varying spectral sensitivity of different types of cone cells in the retina to different parts of the spectrum, colors may be defined and quantified by the degree to which they stimulate these cells.  It includes the perception of color by the human eye and brain, the origin of color in materials, color theory in art,...
Post a Comment
Read more

DEATH in DREAM

Dreams to do with Death is very disturbing. I cried in the dream and also 'physically cried' and usually wake up with swollen eyes and a massive headache. Now I am exhausted. Ha! I think so far, (add this one) I have Four death dreams - One, I wasn't really impacted, non-emotional- I didn't cry, I was quite emotionless because I haven't talked or seen that person for many years and she probably spoken only two or three lines to me, so I wasn't that concerned. But I was concerned - as in why in the world I dreamed about her death? Well, the mystery of dreams. The first Death dream - I totally freaked out. I dreamed about a death of my family member- someone I love dearly. I did not see the dying process. It was more like a few officers brought me to a private room and then show some documentations and then break the bad news to me. I fell off the chair immediately and urgh, devastated. I don't want to be reminded of those feelings. I was so glad that it w...
Post a Comment
Read more

FREEDOM EXPOSED

I talk to God every morning but I'm not what God says to me every day. There's just something I am reading now that hits me right now, so I crawled out of my bed just to blog about it. You know, I realized I don't frickin understand Freedom at all. Actually, what on earth is Freedom for? "We all live under the same sky but we don't all have the same horizon" That proves we all see circumstances differently, we all see Freedom differently. I see it, as, knowing God brings Freedom. I think it is. Knowing God, equals to Knowing someone who knows everything. Everything. Knowing everything, is Freedom perhaps? But I still know nothing. "Freedom releases you to think and see higher. Vision is the art of seeing things that are unseen" This sentence just makes me re-think the meaning of Freedom. The purpose of freedom, is not to freely make decision out of your weak human mind and soul but it enables you to think and see higher. An inability to do...
Post a Comment
Read more