Cheese & _______

I don't miss him. I miss who I thought he was.

One of those enlightening coffee talk with Ze. Some of his wise words. Ze :  When we find the courage to grab life by the horns , we're in it too deep. We need to take control of our lives Ze :  But then, we do get to choose our ideals . Our ideals can change. If we let it. Ze :  Psychology is not for the fainthearted. Ze :    Dealing with the mentally unstable, insane, volatile, and ill... it takes incredible strength , mentally, you have to be like... 300 Spartans. Just be THAT strong. Ze :  The emotions... once it grabs a lot of your attention.... it doesn't let loose easily . I practice emotional control. Control the chemical equilibrium in your brain. Ze :  In real life, you have to learn to be tough because reality.. is well... real. You don't have to give up idealism entirely. Only the portions that conflict directly with reality. You can keep the ideals that give you a survival advantage. So...

There is a tag-line I fiercely believe in, "Live Dangerously" and I thought it is kinda heroic in a way. It seems like in this generation, everyone craves to live dangerously, breaking out of the 'typical' in life, forsaking money, abandoning a stable job, pursuing dreams/vision, climbing the highest mountain, fighting for a cause - worth or not worth fighting for. In fact, a friend who knows me well told me that I was living dangerously (or rather recklessly), resulting with all the troubles in my life. Yes, resulting with troubles . But today, I stumble upon a better tag-line. It's actually from a book title -Following Jesus Through the Eye of the Needle: Living Fully, Loving Dangerously. (A book by Kent Annanfe) I think Kent nailed it. Perhaps this is the correct quote. Living fully - Not only living in the now but living in all past, present and future.  Grasping every moment, finding meaning in it. Loving Dangerously - risking y...

Is Art for thrill or appreciation? Rock concert vs Ochestra performance? I think the bunch who goes to rock concert dances and clap and scream whenever they feel like it. I guess that doesn't happen in a formal Ochestra performance (Don't know about the rest, but in MPO no one cheered). Most of them only stand and clap at the end of the whole performance. I think it is weird. Is that how you should watch a movie?

It takes years of mistakes to learn what is love. Often, incomplete people fall in love because of a deep unknown desire to fill the void in their hearts, not knowing it is not the person who they love, but merely a manifestation of that deep void hole, crying to be filled. " Do you miss him at the most happy and fulfilling times of your life? Just because you miss him when the world is quiet and you feel alone doesn't mean you love him. You will miss anyone when you're lonely . It's when your life is going great and you still feel that ache in your heart because he isn't there to see the genuine smile on your face and happiness in your life." To know if one is ready and complete of loving, is recognizing the moment when do you miss him/her the most. Perhaps not only for boy-girl relationships, but friendships as well . "When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not se...

I was born a harp that has a whole complement of strings from bass to treble. Before my lute-crisis, when my bass and treble sides were both together upon my frame, many of my strings were badly out-of-tune because I had been played-upon hard and cruelly re-arranged, with the lower-pitched strings suffering worst - I learned to think of my bass-strings as very, very bad things. By the time of my lute-crisis, I was playing more on the midrange and treble strings. I chose to view the midrange strings as treble ones. And I re-tuned many of the bass strings to higher-than-proper pitches, while mercilessly muting the rest of them. I wanted terribly to become a new instrument -a lute- one with only treble strings. I thought I was this other instrument, and I even tried to cut-away my bass strings. But I knew my frame would always be that of a harp whatever I did. After arguing with the Great Luthier, I promised I would not bend the frame out-of-line and use a different so...

There's a kind of white moth, I don't know what kind, that glimmers by mid-May in the forest, just as the pink mocassin flowers are rising. If you notice anything, it leads you to notice more and more. And anyway I was so full of energy. I was always running around, looking at this and that. If I stopped the pain was unbearable. If I stopped and thought, maybe the world can't be saved, the pain was unbearable. Finally, I noticed enough. All around me in the forest the white moths floated. How long do they live, fluttering in and out of the shadows? You aren't much, I said one day to my reflection in a green pond, and grinned. The wings of the moths catch the sunlight and burn so brightly. At night, sometimes, they slip between the pink lobes of the moccasin flowers and lie there until dawn, motionless in those dark halls of honey