Cheese & _______

I talk to God every morning but I'm not what God says to me every day. There's just something I am reading now that hits me right now, so I crawled out of my bed just to blog about it. You know, I realized I don't frickin understand Freedom at all. Actually, what on earth is Freedom for? "We all live under the same sky but we don't all have the same horizon" That proves we all see circumstances differently, we all see Freedom differently. I see it, as, knowing God brings Freedom. I think it is. Knowing God, equals to Knowing someone who knows everything. Everything. Knowing everything, is Freedom perhaps? But I still know nothing. "Freedom releases you to think and see higher. Vision is the art of seeing things that are unseen" This sentence just makes me re-think the meaning of Freedom. The purpose of freedom, is not to freely make decision out of your weak human mind and soul but it enables you to think and see higher. An inability to do...

As I watched my grandma lying on the bed, I could not help but imagining myself in her position. She wasn’t exactly helpless; in fact, I thought she was really strong for a 90+ year old. She did not step into the hospital even though she had a stroke! Her self-recovery is way too speedy, I think. Acupuncture really works, perhaps. I wonder about what’s going on her head everyday. What does she live for? Would she prefer living or dying? I’m sure she’s tired of living and of not having the luxury to move about freely, to see clearly and to hear. At that age, with that kind of circumstances, what do you live for anymore? Isn’t life going to be depressing at that age? As I was in my head, I heard a question, coming from within myself. Perhaps, if I can answer what I want to be and what I want to do when I’m at that age that would probably solve my ultimate life question; what is my purpose in life? It is very simple, really. I want to be writing a book – if I still have the capabil...

I don't miss him. I miss who I thought he was.

One of those enlightening coffee talk with Ze. Some of his wise words. Ze :  When we find the courage to grab life by the horns , we're in it too deep. We need to take control of our lives Ze :  But then, we do get to choose our ideals . Our ideals can change. If we let it. Ze :  Psychology is not for the fainthearted. Ze :    Dealing with the mentally unstable, insane, volatile, and ill... it takes incredible strength , mentally, you have to be like... 300 Spartans. Just be THAT strong. Ze :  The emotions... once it grabs a lot of your attention.... it doesn't let loose easily . I practice emotional control. Control the chemical equilibrium in your brain. Ze :  In real life, you have to learn to be tough because reality.. is well... real. You don't have to give up idealism entirely. Only the portions that conflict directly with reality. You can keep the ideals that give you a survival advantage. So...

There is a tag-line I fiercely believe in, "Live Dangerously" and I thought it is kinda heroic in a way. It seems like in this generation, everyone craves to live dangerously, breaking out of the 'typical' in life, forsaking money, abandoning a stable job, pursuing dreams/vision, climbing the highest mountain, fighting for a cause - worth or not worth fighting for. In fact, a friend who knows me well told me that I was living dangerously (or rather recklessly), resulting with all the troubles in my life. Yes, resulting with troubles . But today, I stumble upon a better tag-line. It's actually from a book title -Following Jesus Through the Eye of the Needle: Living Fully, Loving Dangerously. (A book by Kent Annanfe) I think Kent nailed it. Perhaps this is the correct quote. Living fully - Not only living in the now but living in all past, present and future.  Grasping every moment, finding meaning in it. Loving Dangerously - risking y...