Cheese & _______

When things aren't adding up in your life, start subtracting.  When life seems stagnant and nothing is moving, people tried hard to add up activities in their daily schedule but to no avail. Sounds like you? Well, maybe some do enjoy being stagnant but I feel guilty about it. I hate changes but I need to live with some kinda changes. The best way? Why don't I substract some useless things in my life? Or stuff that I have too much but I don't need it that much?

I think there are way too many articles written and too many conferences around the topic of how to get to the place where you want to be. In real life scenarios, it probably means how to climb corporate ladder, how to be profitable in business, how to earn more money until you reach the state where you will yell “Enough!” (Would any amount of money be enough?) Nobody tells you how to be happy. I mean, nobody tells you that formally or directly. You caught it while growing up and by observing other happy people. Or maybe your folks told you that when you marry the right man or the right woman, you will be happy. Happy for the rest of your life. When you scored all As in exams, you will be happy. When you win a game, you will be happy. When you receive a gift, you will be happy. So, achieving target equals happy? Who placed the targets anyway? Have you met people who told you that you are happy? Wherever you are. Whatever you do. At that very moment. What is happiness, exactly? I re...

To build faith, you need to have dreams. A ridiculous dream. The purpose of dreams is to the existence of faith.  Somehow these both words keep coming to me today.

Quote from Carl Sagan that puts earth and the universe into perspective: "The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in...

My existence is bothering me yet I'm not doing anything about it. Jumping to something else seems like the wrong thing to do, keeping safe here seems like the best thing to do. Yet this heart longs for more. Void. It says, feed the void. I have no desire to do good anymore. No desire to save anyone. No desire to please anyone. Nobody cares so I don't really mind if anybody hates me. It's not like they care in the first place anyway. Life is weird without any enemies. Feeling really sick, physically and mentally. Money is an issue now. Everything is. Nothing is inspiring. Every corner of the earth smells death. Living corpse walking in daylight all around me. Self-absorbed people all over and smoldering me. I can't listen to any crap for more than 10 seconds. Their self absorbed talk, bores.

Faith being tested. It is always confusing because I don't know of what I should press on and of what I should just let go and know that it is just not meant to be. Confusing.

So, my 2011 New Year Resolutions I shall wake up every morning, look into the mirror and tell myself, “I’m hot, baybeh. Oooh I’m like so gorgeous and I’m loved” I shall eat 730 times of proper and nourishing meals per year. That is two meals per day. Let’s start small. I shall produce any form of artistic creation at least once a month. I shall finish reading one of the lengthy mind-numbing chapters in the Old Testament. I shall not drive like a tortoise. No, wait. I shall not daydream while driving. I shall tidy up my room as if my mom will do a random spot check. I shall exercise. No, wait. Haven’t we been here before? Okay, I shall exercise once every 4 months. Now that sounds better. I shall learn and speak foreign language. I shall watch a movie weekly. Repeated movies permitted. I shall smile, laugh, love and not take life too seriously. Progress: Although it has evolved into something else, it's a good thing. Start your day right - is the key. I think I have ea...