Cheese & _______

As I watched my grandma lying on the bed, I could not help but imagining myself in her position. She wasn’t exactly helpless; in fact, I thought she was really strong for a 90+ year old. She did not step into the hospital even though she had a stroke! Her self-recovery is way too speedy, I think. Acupuncture really works, perhaps. I wonder about what’s going on her head everyday. What does she live for? Would she prefer living or dying? I’m sure she’s tired of living and of not having the luxury to move about freely, to see clearly and to hear. At that age, with that kind of circumstances, what do you live for anymore? Isn’t life going to be depressing at that age? As I was in my head, I heard a question, coming from within myself. Perhaps, if I can answer what I want to be and what I want to do when I’m at that age that would probably solve my ultimate life question; what is my purpose in life? It is very simple, really. I want to be writing a book – if I still have the capabil...

Sometimes, by upgrading my life to buying better materials, living in better surroundings or dining in a better restaurant; turns out to be trap. It's hard to downgrade once I have upgraded. A few years ago, a one buck Milo drink was enough, was the best, and was the bomb. Now that I can afford to get myself Starbucks Hot Chocolate, I have developed a need for superior hot chocolate drink. It's not that I am buying the brand, you see. The quality is indeed enhanced. It does taste better. Not that I want to live like that but that is the rule. You pay more and you get better.  But still, some things are just ridiculous, like COACH bag. It is pure nonsense to spend that much on a bag and that bag can feed thousands. But then again, I think the buyers of COACH probably don't feel like that because it's a common thing for them. Think about it. It's common here to get a drink which cost you Rm8 per cup. My mom and dad will freak out if they know that. The poor kid ...

Falling in love is not love itself. Attraction is not love itself. Most of the times, you are just infatuated but it’s not like you want to live with the person forever and ever. Personality can be intriguing. What a person is able to do, can be a strong attraction factor. A person who can sing like an angel, a person who can rock the stage with a guitar, and a person who is creative and artistically inclined, a person who runs his own business, a person who speaks and affirm well, a radical thinker; all these are just of “doing”. To totally miss out “being” as one of the attraction factor is a disaster. A person’s character doesn’t just change overnight. Generosity, humbleness, kindness, emotionally strong, determination, forgiving, understanding, a genuine listener, godly, always strive for improvement, caring, and others which are not related of what a person “do” but what the person is “being”, quite effortlessly. It’s not easy to see that from the surface, but perhaps...

I have an allergic over the word busy. Whenever someone tells me they are busy, I have an urge to slap their faces, to wake them up from their imagination – oh, especially the ones who claims to be busy while their tweets and Facebook updates were regular – oh, oh those friends who tell everyone they are busy and then secretly make choices on who they want to hang out with (selective-busy you may call it) My new definition of busy is “when you are so freaking busy you ain’t got time to pee or shit or eat or bathe because there are just so freaking many things to do!” Believe me. When I say I’m busy, that really happened. I don’t bathe. I don’t eat. I don’t go for toilet breaks. Those can wait. But, Today, I want to re-define it. As I was thinking about being busy, a few thoughts pop into my head. Here’s the new meaning: If you are too busy to hang out with God, you’re too busy. So, are you busy today?

July launched with the theme word 'Hectic' and it doesn't seem to get any better. I realized that I am not a creature of patience in spite of the fact that God gives me a very approachable face. Only God knows, inside, my temper runs like a time bomb, while at times it's like a cheap clock. Generally, people are as annoying as a Windows OS Blue Screen of Death. This hectic season got me working like a human - yes, like a human, not like a robot. I am a human, yes, I am emotional. I think people who loves to deny their emotional side are just plain crazy. It's like God made them human and they want to be animals or something. And, this emotional side, needs me to art - to express - non-direct - in a creative manner. I want to express what I feel and think about certain issues about human interaction and behavior. There is no surprise that I am not a good talker. So I write. But I am not a good writer either when I don't have time to wri...

I don't miss him. I miss who I thought he was.

One of those enlightening coffee talk with Ze. Some of his wise words. Ze :  When we find the courage to grab life by the horns , we're in it too deep. We need to take control of our lives Ze :  But then, we do get to choose our ideals . Our ideals can change. If we let it. Ze :  Psychology is not for the fainthearted. Ze :    Dealing with the mentally unstable, insane, volatile, and ill... it takes incredible strength , mentally, you have to be like... 300 Spartans. Just be THAT strong. Ze :  The emotions... once it grabs a lot of your attention.... it doesn't let loose easily . I practice emotional control. Control the chemical equilibrium in your brain. Ze :  In real life, you have to learn to be tough because reality.. is well... real. You don't have to give up idealism entirely. Only the portions that conflict directly with reality. You can keep the ideals that give you a survival advantage. So...